TWO AGENTS SITTING AT A PINKBERRY, A HOT GIRL...
Agent 1: Man, would I like to fuck her...
Agent 2: Out of what?
We’re all just searching for what’s next after skinnie jeans. Help.– HIPSTER RUNOFF (via allisonweiss)
Elephant joke - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia →
elephanteater: A wikipedia entry entirely devoted to ELEPHANT jokes.
magnoliasurgeon: robot-heart: tracks: Air -...
magnoliasurgeon: Me: I really wish the Jonas brothers weren’t musicians. My 5-year-old cousin: (scoffs) They’re not musicians. Touche.
The internet went down for three hours this morning… plunging the nation into...– The Onion Movie (2008) (via hunsonisgroovy)
John: You know what I realized today? We've been together for a year now.
Me: You mean, like, altogether we've been dating for a year?
Me: Does that mean you're going to take me out to dinner?
John: I thought you'd take me out.
Me: I took you out for our six months.
John: Yeah, and then you invalidated it by breaking up with me.
Me: You know, love isn't a one-way street, John.
John: I know. It's a cul-de-sac.
lhh: taramichelle: Rilo Kiley - I Never I’m...
NBC To Air A New Muppets Christmas Special →
happycap: moderation: (via spdracerx) December 17th!